Whenever I get into my over-analytical, over-philosophical, over-exaggerated mindset of trying to find the meaning of life, I always somehow relate everything to running. I’ve always attributed my reasons for running to the problems that I’m usually running away from. To me, running is just one big metaphor for life. Whether it be figurative or literal, I’m always running to or from something or someone.
I’m inside my head a lot. I tend to constantly read too much into things and repeatedly go over it in my mind. Whenever I find it too overwhelming being inside my head, I run. I run because it’s the only thing that can suppress my thoughts. At first, when I start to run, a million thoughts are also running inside my head. Eventually, my thoughts dissipate and my mind goes blank. Then, I’m at peace.
I wish it was that easy for me to be at peace without having to physically go for a run.
I’ve been running for my entire life. I should really say chasing.
Ever since I was young, I’ve always been impatient. I still am. I’ve always wanted things to happen right away. I’ve always wanted fast results. I guess that’s what drew me to running. The concept of time and being in control of your time.
I’ve always chased after the things I wanted because I figured that if you wanted something bad enough, you have to go after it yourself. Having that mindset has definitely helped my success in life. Being a “go-getter” is typically a good thing. However, my Mother always told me that I need to learn patience. As I’m getting older, I’ve found that to be more and more true.
There are some things that you can’t chase after. There are some things that you can’t control. There are some things that just come in time. This is a concept that has been difficult for me to wrap my head around because I’ve always attained the things I wanted by going after it. However, some of the things worth having come to you by being patient.
I don’t know how or when it’s going to happen, but I need to learn to stop running so much. And when I say running, I mean it figuratively. I need to stop chasing after the things that can’t be chased.