It’s been about a month since I’ve had anything to share via WordPress and there is a reason for that. Fortunately, it’s a good reason.
It’s funny how I have so much more to say when things are going wrong in my life or if I’m in some sort of panicked state. Instead, I’ve been in the happiest state that I’ve been in within the past four months. Naturally, the panicked state is returning.
I don’t know if it’s just me or if everyone else shares a similar feeling of paranoia when things are going too well. It might just be me (with the exception of a few other people as weird as I am) Lately, I’ve been happy across all areas of my life in the past month, and it’s starting to scare me; Not because I don’t want to be happy, but because I know that happiness doesn’t last forever. I constantly go through waves of emotions, which is a normal human process, but I can’t wrap my head around this feeling. For the past few months, I’ve gotten so used to the struggles and the stress of the back-to-back conflicts that kept pushing me down. I must be shell-shocked to have this room to breathe.
I’d like to think that this is life’s way of letting me catch my breath and take a break from chaos. Either way, when I’m panicked, I’m panicked and when I’m happy, I’m still panicked.
I must be a drama queen because I’m suspicious of how smoothly things are currently going. It would be nice to appreciate this happiness, but as usual I’m still working on it…