Have you ever been at rock bottom and gotten to the point where you actually remember the moment when you started to fall?
Well that happened to me today, just a few hours ago, as I was sitting at church at the last evening service of the day.
The central message of the sermon was about making a comeback after you have fallen into one of the lowest points that you have ever been in.
And that moment happened to me about five months ago when I was in the midst of severing all ties between my ex-boyfriend and I. When that happened, I thought that it would be the end of all my sorrows and struggles. Little did I know, that would be the very instant where I would begin to spiral into a deep pit that I had never fallen down before.
By now, I thought that things would clear up and I would be back on an up and onward path.
In November of 2015, I was let go from a job that I eagerly took and only held for approximately two months. I was let go just three days before my 25th birthday.
Throughout this ongoing process of self-discovery and healing since that moment, I thought that, now, I had finally found solace in the beginning of February when a new job opportunity sought me out. I thought that this would be the turn of the tide.
About one week ago, I found out that they had decided not to keep me as an employee.
And just like that, I was right back in that pit.
When you’re in your darkest of moments, it’s quite difficult to find any speck of light. It’s difficult to even try to let any light in. That’s exactly where I am right now. In the dark, searching for light in this dark moment in my life.
The single most important thing that kept me hanging on and holding onto hope was finding my way back to God and having faith that all of these things that were happening are not in vain.
I can only hold my head high and trust that light will finally find its way to me.
I can only hope that soon, I will make my comeback. But for now, I’m still in the pit searching for light to find its way to me again.
*Read a continuation of this post in “My Comeback (Part 2)“