“The Sick Girl Journal” is what this blog really should be called. I’m noticing that for the past few months, I’ve either been sick or in recovery from being sick. I thought that after my marathon training was over and I had finally ran Big Sur, I would be sickness-free. To my misfortune, that is completely false.
It’s mid-May and I’m still battling the same head colds and sore throats that I’ve fought throughout my entire marathon training this past Winter.
Last night, I was walking around the Lower East Side with my sister and we couldn’t stop complaining about how cold it was. I actually regretted NOT wearing a winter coat and scarf…in May.
I can already pin-point the sum of factors that cause the continual crashing of my immune system. I’m not going to bore you with listing these things because I’ve done that a few times in past entries already.
Instead, I’m going to find some sort of meaning (as I always do) in my persistent sicknesses.
I’ve written about factors, and balance, and keeping stress at bay, etc., etc. Really, that’s all I have going for me. I’ve compared running my marathon to life. Most things can be a metaphor for life. I’ve posted artwork which had the Albert Einstein quote, “Life is like riding a bicycle. In order to keep your balance, you must keep moving” This is true because imbalance causes disorder and without order, things fall apart. Of course, that’s usually where discovery comes about. Another quote I like goes something like, “Things fall apart in order for better things to come together” This is another truth. In the midst of chaos, we often find the most clarity. And I find all of these quotes true as a writer because usually, I am most inspired to write when everything is going wrong in my life and I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom or I’m going through some sort of struggle.
I have to say that struggle is the most important thing that anyone can have in life. Struggle makes people stronger. Struggle builds character. If you have never struggled, you have never had to search for resolution. I embrace struggle.
Despite how much I absolutely abhor being sick, I also have to accept it and value it. It’s a humbling experience, just as my marathon was a humbling experience. We are only human, after all. We can be easily broken. However, we are also resilient. We can rise up and fight back. We can heal.
The thing that amazes me the most about being sick is how easily I forget the misery that I felt once I am finally recovered. If only it were that easily for all things- heartbreak, loss, failure.
Never have I ever sat around moping and being sad about how sick I was. The minute that I feel all better, I start running and singing and going out again.
How easily we can jump back into the game.
But if there is heartbreak, or loss, or failure, we often don’t recovery as easily. It takes more time to heal after the initial blow.
If there is anything that I wish I could apply more to my life, in regards to being sick, it would be learning how to jump right back into living my life after heartbreak, or loss, or failure.
Of course, there are some things that need more time for grief and healing, such as the loss of a loved one. But in the infamous words of Robert Frost, “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on”
And that’s exactly it.
(Thank you, Barney Stinson)